Loving herself. From her public splits with Justin Bieber and The Weeknd to her lupus diagnosis and kidney transplant, Selena Gomez had learned just how strong she really is.
“I was, you know, obviously going through a really tough breakup, and then I was left with the question of my career and where am I gonna go and what’s gonna happen?” Gomez, 29, revealed of her darkest moments during an interview with The Hollywood Reporter on Monday, June 13. “And then my medical stuff kind of kicked in, but being on the other side of it, I have to be honest, it’s actually been really good for me.”
The former Disney star had a turbulent — and very public — relationship with ex-boyfriend Bieber, 28, that lasted for almost a decade before the pair called it quits for good in October 2018. “It allowed me to develop a character where I don’t tolerate any sort of nonsense or disrespect,” she said of the split, adding that she’s “really proud” of how she came out on the other side of it all.
“It was necessary for me to walk through those things, I had a lot of soul searching to do,” the Wizards of Waverly Place alum admitted to THR on Monday. “By all means, I don’t have life figured out, but I do know that during that time I was learning so much about myself.”
These days, Gomez, who was diagnosed with lupus in 2014 and underwent a kidney transplant three years later, is protecting her body and her heart by being cautious about who she lets into her life. “I find my toleration of any sort of discomfort, usually disrespect, or whatever, even just unnecessary stuff, it’s not taking over me anymore,” she explained to the outlet.
What helps the “Lose You to Love Me” artist keeps the negative energy at bay is making sure she spends time with mature people who she can trust — including her Only Murders in the Building costars, Steve Martin and Martin Short.
“Being around two adult gentlemen — because that’s what they are, they are very sweet and kind and hilarious and inappropriate sometimes and it’s the best — I just learned so much,” the Rare Beauty founder said of the comedic icons. “And my expectation for a man, to be honest, or any human, is to be as decent as these two human beings are. They have been doing this longer than I’ve been alive, and they are the kindest people.”
This isn’t the first time Gomez has been candid about how her dating woes have made her stronger. In 2020, the Spring Breakers actress opened up in an interview with NPR, and admitted she experienced emotional abuse during her relationship with the “Sorry” singer, who wed Hailey Bieber (née Baldwin) months after he and Gomez called it quits in 2018, but was determined to stay away from the “victim mentality” and didn’t throw herself a pity party.
“As much as I definitely don’t want to spend the rest of my life talking about this, I am really proud that I can say I feel the strongest I’ve ever felt,” she said at the time. “I’ve found a way to just walk through it with as much grace as possible