A journey to healing. Jennette McCurdy‘s attempts to work through her trauma following her time in the spotlight take center stage in her new book, I’m Glad My Mom Died.
Before the memoir hit shelves on Tuesday, August 9, the former actress reflected on how her complicated relationship with her mother, Debra McCurdy, kickstarted a variety of personal issues including an eating disorder and a stunted adolescence.
“It’s something I mean sincerely,” McCurdy told BuzzFeed News this month about the controversial title. “I’m genuinely glad. If she were alive, I’d still be trapped. Every important decision in my life wouldn’t have been possible.”
Ahead of the book’s debut, the Nickelodeon alum recalled wanting to leave the entertainment industry following her mother’s death. “I think seeing yourself is particularly difficult with growing up in the public eye, because you’re so public-facing and seen as one thing,” she continued. “That makes the reality of you so much more unseen and invalidated and unacknowledged. But now, because I see myself, I can accept being seen by others.”
McCurdy’s journey of dealing with her childhood trauma came with its own set of challenges — and forced her to unpack her past. In I’m Glad My Mom Died, the California native opened up about the many ups and downs of being a child star.
The Between alum originally rose to stardom after portraying Sam Puckett on iCarly from 2007 to 2012. According to McCurdy, preparing for life after the show’s conclusion was more difficult than she expected.
“For me, it’s not that iCarly’s ending. It’s not that today is our last day ever taping iCarly. That I’m fine with, even excited about, definitely ready for,” she wrote in her book. “Even though I’m wary of starting my spinoff, I’m glad to at least be saying goodbye to this project that makes me feel like I’m living every day in the Groundhog Day movie, doing the same thing over and over again.”
McCurdy went on to reprise her character in a crossover series between iCarly and Victorious, which was titled Sam & Cat. Years after working alongside Ariana Grande, McCurdy discussed feeling as if the network treated the duo differently behind the scenes.
“Every time something exciting happens to her, I feel like she robbed me of having that experience myself. And every time someone calls me a good sport, all I feel is how much I don’t want to be one,” she detailed in her book.
I’m Glad My Mom Died is available now. Scroll through for the biggest revelations: